Buyers, how long do you wait to file an Item Not Received Dispute?

Question
I purchased an item on 11/02/05, a hard to find DVD set. Paid immediately via Paypal (after the annoying Channel Advisor checkout!), got a "payment received, we'll notify you when item ships!" message the same day.
Well, as of this morning it hasn't arrived. A double-check of my email shows I didn't get an "item has shipped" message, so I went to the listing to contact the seller. Before I did, I checked their feedback....
When I bought my item (it was a BIN) they had 100% positive. The great praise they'd received for fast shipping and good service made me choose them over a couple of other sellers. BUT... since then they've received 4 negatives and 6 neutrals. Here are some of those comments:
Money was refunded because seller could not find item Couldn't 'find' item - refunded money after I emailed them. Refunded since "DVD could not be found". BUT selling it on new auction 4 more $. Refund received since DVD could not be found
I haven't sent them a message yet because now I'm really kind of mad. I'm tempted to go straight to a Dispute, but maybe I'm just overreacting and should send them an email first. OTOH this was going to be a birthday present for my kid, whose birthday is next Saturday (I figured buying it early, & with First Class Shipping, I had time - when I bought it all of their feedback had been glowing.
So should I be patient and write to them or go straight to the next level? Maybe I just need to calm down and go for a walk before I decide?

Answer
Email them and ask. I'd think 2 1/2 or so weeks would be enough and would go ahead and file, but I'd have already tried to get in touch with them a couple of times.
To be on the safe side, if you can, I'd buy another one asap so you can have it. Just be sure to email the seller and ask if they can ship the day you pay.

Answer
Thanks, Mommy! (wow, I suddenly miss my mother... think I'll give her a call! ). I'm shopping for a duplicate item now.
I just discovered that they have the same DVD set listed for $10.00 more than I paid for it.
I did send them a message just now, although I have to admit it's not very friendly, maybe even accusitory:
Hello,
I paid for this item via PayPal on 11/02/05 (I can send you a copy of my receipt if necessary). You sent me a Payment Received message on 11/02/05, in which you stated that you would send another message when the item shipped. It has been over 2 weeks and I have not heard from you, nor have I received my item. (I know you must have the DVD set in stock, since you have other active listings for it) Please respond. I'd normally never be so snarky, but this business of listing items the seller either doesn't have, or resells for more money, gives eBay sellers a bad name. Or maybe it's just the pre-holiday, pre-18th-birthday-of-my-only-child stress getting to me. I have been kind of moody lately...

Answer
I don't really think it sounds too snarky-esp given the feedback they seem to be racking up.
Wonder if they are trying to make money off of the "float"
If you don't mind posting-what set are you looking for?

Answer
Xena Season 5. There's a number of them on eBay, mostly from mega-sellers. I got 4 & 6 from Walmart.com, but they didn't have 5 - neither did Sam's Club. (she has 1,2 & 3, so I was hoping to give her the rest of the complete series)
Walmart.com cost a bit more than the set is going for on eBay, but I had them in my hand just 2 days after purchase. It's not really the end of the world if I don't get it for her - if I can get season 5 by Christmas I'll just give them to her then.
Not exactly what I would normally want to get her for birthday or Christmas, but she's been asking for them for ages now. It's a good chunk of change to spend on DVDs all together, but if it's what she really wants... The other thing she really, really wants is one of those back-massager pads you hang over the back of your chair. If Xena doesn't work out, she'll get the pad for birthday.
Sorry, don't mean to rattle on!
I'm wondering the same thing about the seller & the 'float'.

Answer
Have you checked deepdiscountdvd.com? I've not ordered from them but have heard good things about them.
Sometimes, just sometimes, some pawn shops get in dvd sets. Might be worth a try if it gets close.

Answer
I worked for a company that would collect orders for things, collect the money, then they obtain the merchandise from another vendor and send it out the customer. It was always a mess, especially when we sold an item, but the vendor was temporarily "out of stock." We would continue to sell the item, knowing full well that we couldn't send it to them, and were hoping that the vendor would have it and send it to us before it was time to ship it out. Sounds like what these people may be doing.

Answer
I don't think your message was too snarky at all - it sounded very professional and businesslike to me - and entirely justified.

Answer
Thanks for all the replies - I'm glad that I wasn't too nasty.
But guess what arrived in this afternoon's mail! Yep!
It was shipped on 11/08/05, Media Mail. Kind of slow, (paid on Wednesday morning, shipped on the following Tuesday) but not too bad. What is a bit irritating is that the listing & invoice & receipt all state that I paid for First Class Mail - not Media. Sigh.
OTOH, it only took 7 business days from then to arrive here. Not at all bad for Media Mail. As we all know, Media Mail can take weeks.
It appears to be in excellent condition, exactly what I ordered, so aside from somewhat pokey shipping... What would y'all leave for a feedback? I already sent a message to let him know it arrived, but I didn't apologize about my message. I feel that could have been avoided if he'd sent an Item Shipped notice like he said he would.
I'm going to hold off on feedback until my DD has had a chance to actually play the DVDs and see that they play well.
Thanks again!

Answer
Buyers, how long do you wait to file an Item Not Received Dispute? 10 days for a Paypal seller. Generally speaking, they are the worst when it comes to timely shipping. Tics me off when I pay by check or money order and receive that item sooner than one paid instantly the same day through Paypal. YMMV.
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