contingent is expecting payout

Question
In the state of Massachusetts a married individual has to assigned the spouse as the beneficiary. With this being said I, one of two offsprings, was assigned as a contingent beneficiary.
The only thing my parents had in common was a key to the front door. Years ago my "deceased parent" mentioned that I would be taken care of should "anything happen". The living primary beneficiary wants to collect the payout and has told me of this information. This is my only living parent - I do not want to cause any problems, but I know for a fact my deceased parent would have wanted me to have all of the money, but could not assign me as the primary beneficiary without the consent of the spouse - and that wasn't going to happen. I don't want it all - I'm willing to share. And I am not going to fight for it. I just want some.
I've seen the company 401k policy and I've seen the phrase "contingent" next to my name. Is it possible to get a piece of document that discusses happy payouts for both primaries and contingents; or am I at the mercy of the primary. I want to be able to present this information to the living parent, in addition to having a pleasant conversation. Thank you for feedback.
[Edited by rureadirw on 02-13-2001 at 02:22 PM]

Answer
The FEDERAL law creating and governing 401k plans provides for the spouse to be beneficiary unless the spouse waives that right in a signed and notarized form.
There may have been are other processes your father could have used to switch beneficaries and remove your mother IF he really wanted you to be beneficiary but if he is deceased, she's the beneficiary both at law and under the designation.
If you want her to give you some of HER proceeds, you'll be dependent on HER generosity.
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