Question
Most of you probably read this before? Lol. But I guess it's pretty funny.
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER????
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
~~~~
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and... I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only." (as opposed to...what?)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Answer
Lol, what were people thinking when they come up with these ideas?
Answer
some of those stuff happen in canada too lol
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
lmao!
Answer
Ahahahah funnyy
Answer
Most of you probably read this before? Lol. But I guess it's pretty funny.
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER????
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
~~~~
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and... I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only." (as opposed to...what?)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
some of those stuff happen in canada too lol
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
lmao!
Answer
so interesting especially the last bit about the chainsaw.
Answer
ROFL! Cracks me up everytime. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)
Answer
LOL. People are so smart now and days. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
Answer
those only-in-americas seem quite true and funny too... hahaha
Answer
lol theyre funny
Answer
lmao!
Answer
LOL quite true..
Answer
Seen this like 500 times now (IMG:style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)
Answer
lol so true
Answer
interesting....
the last one is weird
Answer
For the instructions, it's for the completely idiotic and not for the common person. They put those on there as a record so when some idiot tries to sue them for something, they can say that they had instructions/warnings on the label. They sound stupid, but think of the lady who got 3rd degree burns from McD's coffee. :\ It's people like that that makes companies assume we're all stupid.
Answer
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
^ LOL.
The chainsaw one...XD
Answer
hahahaha
Answer
LOL seen dis a cuple of tymz, but thx for sharin anywayz ^^
Answer
hahaha