Question
sorry if this is post before..... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sweatingbullets.gif)
Please read below:
Company Policy:
Effective from January 2005
Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
hahahahah!!!
i wont want to work there... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/w00t.gif)
Answer
Toilet use. XD Haha... I love the Sick Days policy. So mean. *shakes head*
Answer
omgoodness haha. that's sad about the lunch-breaks ><;
Answer
i love the toilet one....haha...the sick day one is funny too
Answer
hahaha the toilet part made me laugh.
reminds me of those prank japanese things where unsuspecting people use a bathroom or a massage chair and end up getting dumped out.
Answer
haha
that's hilarious
i wish somebody would do the "taking picture and posting it on bulletin" thing
that'd be HILARIOUS
haha
just the loook on their face
Answer
lmao the toilet policy are freaken funny haha a picture of u will be taken haha thing is funny lol ^^ and the lunch policy haha lmao lol
Answer
hahahahah
nice way for a company to save some money
Answer
HAHAHAHA, OMG THAT WAS HILLARIOUS xD
I loved the toilet one, so funny. The lunch break one was mean though.
Answer
hahaha
"Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy"
lol!!!
Answer
haha the toilet use was pretty funny... thanks for sharing!
Answer
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Fast metabolisms luck out I guess haha.
What a great incentive to be skinny.
Answer
hahaha i've read this along time ago but its still funny (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) the toilet one is awesome!
Answer
LOL!!!!
The Toilet Use policy is friggin funny. xD
Answer
Hey, where'd you find the copy of my Work's Policy Notes!!
Answer
read this looong ago and STILL found it funny!!!!
Thanks for sharing!
Answer
woh ho!! This is really funny!
cracked me up!
thanks for sharing!
Answer
hahah the clothing policy either way they were working around with the no raise.
Answer
Haha, I remember reading this in chinese a while ago. It's funnier in english though. haha.
Answer
LOLOL!! that was hilarious the lunch breaks..HAHAHHAHA thanks for sharing ;]