Question
i got them all off a bunch of sites some time ago. i think i can put them up.. lol ^^;; hope none of these were put up already. if they were then.. heh heh well enjoy!! (PS I HAV A LOT SO BEWARE! LOL)
WEIRD SIGNS:
Notice in a Rome Laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Welcome to Curl Up 'N Dye Hair salon!
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
"do not use for drying pets" - in the manual for a microwave oven
"caution: remove infant before folding for storage." - on a portable stroller
"We are sorry, but these toilets are out of action. Please use __ floor"
Japanese HOtel: you are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid
RANDOM:
When i die, i want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep--not screaming like the passengers in his car
Last night i lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and i thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why practice?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice? (i guess u die...^^;;)
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when yout ransport something by ship, it's called cargo?
why do they call it "common sense" when it's so rare?
If barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
if electricity comes from electrons, does it mean morality comes from morons?
why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
why is it caleld tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
If you get corn oil by squeezing corn, how do you get baby oil?
If one synchronized swimer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
FUNNY ANSWERING MACHINE THINGS:
"hi. this is john: if you are the phone company, i already sent the money. if you are my parents, please send money. if you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. if you ar emy friends, you owe me money. if you are a female, don't worry, i have plenty of money."
"hello. i'm home right now but cannot find the phone. please leave a message and i will call you back as soon as i find it."
"a is for acadaemics, b i s for beer. one of those reasons is why we're not here. so leave a message."
"please leave a beep at the message"
"hi, i'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead."
"please leave your name and number, and after i've doctored the tape, you message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI."
"greetins, you have reached the sixth sense detective agency. we know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up."
MORE RANDOM:
politicians, like diapers, have to be changed frequently - and for the very same reason.
to ensure perfect aim, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
if it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
i intend to live forever or die trying."
"for sale: parachute. only used once, never opened, small stain."
it is better to remain childless than to father an orphan.
YUP THAT'S ALL!! LOL!!! ENJOY!!!! =D
Answer
haha thats cuteee [=
i liked some of them but too lazy to say which ones ^^
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hahahaha!! the japanese hotel sign was hillarious!! LMAO!
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"greetins, you have reached the sixth sense detective agency. we know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up."
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) Man, I love these answering machine recordings!!
Too bad I've got the GREATEST one areadly logged on my Cell. Tee Hee.