Question
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . . ."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
I don't like to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It is called Wedding Cake.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
And I said, "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
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^ that last one.. my goodness!!
I'm a female and reading this makes females look stupid (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sleep.gif)
Only some though and the other are a bit slack (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)
Answer
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
^lol. This is so true. Eve's fault.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
I don't like to interrupt her.
This 2 are real fuuny!!
Though it's might be insulting to the females, I'm not offended.
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Haha, I'm a girl and I find them funny (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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funny stuff! though kinda sexist~
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
^ i like this best lol
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haha those are funny... kinda mean =]
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Haha they were really funny!
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. is it supposed to be offending o_O? i thought it was HILARIOUS (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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hahaha wooow these are funny ^___^
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Marriage is a 3 ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
haha my physics teacher always tells us this one
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^mt art teacher told me that once....hahaha xD
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haha yeah I'm a girl and find them really funny. I LOVE the beggar one and the dog one.
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hahaha these are good i love the one about the dog barking
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I'm a girl and I still find these very funny. Lol. =P
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It's not all true... especially the last one.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
--
the last wan is the best !!!
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lol , that ' s hilarious . =]
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i think theres more girls than guys reading this... lol
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^ I think that's true... XDD;; LOL but it's pretty funny
Marriage is a 3 ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
And I said, "Dust!"
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
I love those. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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LOOOOLL
thesse totally made my day (:
i'm not offened by them.. they are hecka funny !!